Do you find that when something annoying is happening, it often feels like it is happening to us? We say – why is this happening to me? It’s possible that considering what the moment is teaching us, we can realize that these circumstances are happening for us.
Let me tell you a story. After being on maternity leave for more than a year, I had the opportunity to go out on my own and do a small thing that I rarely do for myself: get my nails done for a Christmas party.
When I arrived at the salon I asked a few questions about my aesthetician and how she had started her business. She began to tell me all about how her many of her family members were sick and I felt so badly for her. It really seemed like she was going through some turmoil in her life. She continued to talk to me about all the different types of illnesses that her family and extended family–what seemed like her entire network–had ever experienced. I tried distracting her from talking about illness by asking her questions about products she was selling or about her job; she continued to bring up the illnesses. It was clearly on her mind and I felt for her, but I was struggling to find a way to salvage this time for myself.
I was reading Byron Katie’s Loving What Is at the time and I am sure it influenced how I began to process these events.
I thought to myself – I have committed to this process for the next hour, I know I will not choose to come back here again …
What is this moment going to teach me?
As she continued to go on, I realized it was teaching me to stop complaining; it does not benefit anyone.
I still think of this woman when I reach for my phone to text friends a complaint about something. By asking myself what is this moment teaching me, I transformed this seemingly annoying moment in my life to a life lesson about dealing with my complaints within instead of setting up a pity party.
This is just a small annoying anecdote and there are other times in our lives that there are bigger circumstances that we are dealing with – such as a lost job or a loved one. Practising with the small stuff will help us find ways to cope with the bigger circumstances in life. As we begin to see these annoying moments of discomfort when things do not go as planned can teach us something, we build evidence that what is happening is happening for us to learn, not happening to us. It leads to believing that everything is working in your favour and this amplifies your belief in yourself.
Have you had any annoying circumstances lately? What did they teach you?
I would love to hear your thoughts on other ways that you have shifted to believing that everything is happening in your favour. Powerful stuff! Please direct message me on instagram at melissaeanders.
Melissa E Anders 