This week I participated in this phone call:
Hello, is this Melissa?
This is the doctor’s office calling
I am calling to remind you that you have an appointment tomorrow at 930.
Thank you. Bye
For some reason this call felt sort of awkward.
I have the appointment in my calendar and I am committed to it.
At the same time, I have cancelled doctors appointments and rearranged my schedule to fit something else in and not gone to the doctor for myself.
I feel different about this now. I feel personally responsible for taking care of myself first and that by taking care of myself first I am actually taking care of those around me better.
I would have really appreciated that reminder 3 or 4 years ago to support me in keeping my appointment.
Now, time and I are more connected and we have really gotten to know each other. I know and trust that I am going to show up. I see my calendar as a supportive structure that associates my priorities with my time. In doing so, I am practising putting what matters most to me first. In the past it’s been hard to show up for a doctor’s appointment but now, I know my health is a priority for me and I wanted to show up. For me.
Interestingly and in contrast to this, right now, I am also in a state where I have not been listening to my body and I have landed in physio to repair what I was ignoring. So interesting how we can show up in one way and end up needing to be reminded in another.
And, at times I still struggle with time and showing up for myself first, of course. It can somehow feel easier to put others first. To not ask. To wiggle around until others are feeling good and I end up feeling left last and resentful.
Most importantly, how does this relate to what’s happening for you? Does your writing represent putting yourself first? Are you creating changes that feel good to support you in creating the time you need for yourself? Does it seem “impossible” to you to create time for yourself, for your writing? Do you feel as though you may need support to create this space for yourself?
I have made shifts and I am changing this for myself and I am also in process with it. I go to yoga once a week; this is well established now. I meditate before I go to bed most days and other days I crawl into bed and have forgotten. Sometimes I get up and go and meditate because I want to and other times I read and rest and practise self-compassion instead of pushing through. I connect with my thoughts and feelings through writing every morning and this grounds me and sets me up for the day. I wake up before my family to create time for myself. I am honouring my time and myself in this way. Each breath and beat. It matters.
And, there are many, MANY, areas where I am in process with putting myself first with kindness to myself and to others and where I will, of course, continue to need to be reminded of being self compassionate and taking small steps forward.
I would love to hear more about where you are at with where you put yourself and your writing in your line up. Do you need to be reminded to put yourself first? Where are you at?
If you or someone you know is feeling challenged to create space for themselves to write and share your message and your contributions, pls email me for a complimentary Discovery Call where we will look at what’s happening for you and see if the work that I do is a good fit for you.
Sending you support and encouragement wherever you are in your own personal growth journey!