Are you Burning Out or Lashing Out?

If you are starting to exhaust from trying not ex/implode or you are lashing out at those around you and would like to take a more purposeful approach to managing what’s coming up for you, I would like to share a universal process built on many mentors, coaching and my own experience, that will support you to move through this time with more ease: 

1. Get Aware: Ask yourself, as a result of this global pandemic, what is coming up for me? Write down with a pen and paper all the lower level thoughts and feelings that come up around it.
2. Get Curious: Pick one that seems to really keep coming up for you strongly (go with the first one that shows itself and try not to question it too much) and ask yourself honestly – what is this about for me? What is it that I need to understand about myself here? Write it down with a pen and paper.
3. Get Practical: With this understanding, how could I support myself here? What is a small, simple, doable practical next step that I could take to support myself with this? Write it down with a pen and paper.

For me, one of the (many?!) things that have been coming up for me is feeling like parts of my work lack meaning.  There’s a part of me that just doesn’t like to do the work that feels piddly. This has certainly come up for me before and I have taken a look at it before. 

And, interestingly here it is again.

So, in order to move through it I worked through the above process – here’s what I found: 

1. What is coming up for me? This work feels meaningless, busy work, stupid, annoying and almost shameful to do this work in comparison to what I could be doing associated with my other gifts and talents. 
2. What is this about for me? Doing seemingly small things feel like they are not worthwhile because they do not support me to be seen or appreciated. An action has to be big for it to be worthwhile, seen, appreciated by myself or others.  
3. How could I support myself here? There’s another part of me that sees that even seemingly small things can be important and worthwhile. A smile from my daughter lifts my spirits. A short email to follow up can matter to a colleague. My practical next step is to track small things that have meaning to me for the rest of the week. 

Through my experience, I am confident that this action will not only support me in a continuous way to shift these lower level thoughts and feelings but it also had an immediate return of supporting me to move into the work that I wanted to complete! And, I am already seeing how it is supporting me to do the little things around the house, which was why I looked at this before, with more ease again.

One of my mentors Michael Singer shares that what’s coming up for us is like a thorn stuck under our skin. It is tender to the touch (we get bothered and irritated). Over time, if not cared for, it gets pushed up and out of us more forcefully. When we choose to move through this process purposefully, we can create more peace and ease in our lives. And, if not cared for, it will still come up and out ways that you may already be experiencing where we are either exhausted and headed towards burn out from using our willpower to hold it together or we end up lashing out at those around us.   

Being able to do this work with ease does not happen overnight and it is not one and done. 

If you would like to create change for yourself to feel better in our current experience of a global pandemic and yet you are feeling a lot of resistance to this work – that makes sense! 

Even getting to the stage where we can write down our thoughts and feelings with more ease can be resistance – filled. 

Let this time support you in seeing that it is time to create change for yourself, now more than ever. If you are needing support and desire to create these kinds of shifts for yourself, please email me for your complimentary Discovery Call at support@melissaeanders.com. 

I believe in you and your desire to create change. Just by reading this post you are in process with this and on the way to receiving the support that’s needed to create to move away from anxiety, overwhelm and feelings of not enough towards feeling a sense of ease, clarity and peace in your writing, work, time and other relationships. 

Warmly,
Melissa 

ps – If you have questions I am also here to support you, please email me at support@melissaeanders.com. I welcome your questions and I would love to connect with you in this way!