Explore Going Inside to See What’s Most Important

We are being asked to stay inside. What I’d like to offer you is to use this time to go inside yourself and ask: what have I realized that’s most important to me as a result of experiencing this global pandemic? 

It will be different for all of us as some are being asked to work long hours, others are caring for children while working and others still have stopped most of their work.

For me, in conducting the concert of working from home with my husband while caring for two kids 6 and 3, there have been many moments where I find myself learning what is most important to me.

For example, I want to be a mom that doesn’t get angry AT her kids but allows for frustration and anger in a healthy way. I have had many opportunities to practise this if, for example, my girls are continuing a behaviour that I am asking them to stop doing.

With each time this happens, as my frustration begins to grow into anger and I start to yell, I have been learning to catch myself and stop: to walk away and breathe deeply or to sing to myself or to get a glass of water and then return when I am calm. Everything that I want to model for my girls when they get angry. To allow it without shaming it or stuffing it and let it pass and then come back calm.

With each moment like this, I am finding ways to break away from the pattern and ask for support. It’s messy learning and it’s not perfect. There’s a part of me that wants me to be right and that wants to be in control. There’s also another part of me that is saying “She is 3. She is 6. Is wrestling on the couch really the cause for this anger? What is really going on here?” I have realized that the frustration is not about them, it’s about me.

This time is showing a sign for me with flashing neon lights that says:

“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” Wayne Dyer

For me, through deep reflection and contemplation, this time reveals to me what’s most important to me on the inside: 

  1. To learn and understand myself so that I may expand and grow into who I truly am
  2. To take care of the relationships that are most important to me  
  3. To share what I see and make my contributions to my community

By connecting in with what’s important more directly during this time, I’ve found that I have been able to increase my focus on these 3 priorities with more freedom and clarity and letting go of what I am “supposed” to do or “should” be doing. It’s showing up in practical ways too. Just one example is that I’ve created a 6-day work week schedule with more time off during the weekdays that is supporting me to be present with my kids each day and I am enjoying it. I know there are the essential workers that are not experiencing this but my sense is that for those of us that are considered non-essential work, it makes sense for us to be doing what’s essential for us and what’s most important to us. By bringing awareness to what’s most important we can create shifts in our well-being that are long-lasting if we are receiving support and staying with it. 

If this feels like something that makes sense for you to explore, here are some questions that might support you to dig deeper into what this time is revealing is most important to you: 

  1. What are you learning about yourself? What are you receiving? How are you seeing things differently?  
  2. What do you want to take forward that you have realized as a result of this time? 
  3. How will you support yourself to make this change in a consistent way in your life? 

Start here. Start with these questions. And, please let me know if you are ready to take this further to create sustainable transformation for yourself by connecting with me by email support@melissaeanders.com and ask for your complimentary Discovery Call where we will take a look at what’s happening for you and whether the work I do is a good fit for you or not. 

Warmly,
Melissa 

Ps – At the end of my webinar about the Silencing the Inner Critic a participant I had a participant ask “This isn’t just about writing, is it?” I smiled and said,  “No, no it isn’t just about writing.” Our relationship with writing reveals to us the patterns that we have that are holding us back, and when we receive the support to take a look at them and take steps to create different patterns we transform our lives.

If you are curious about this process, I encourage you to email me at support@melissaeanders.com for your complimentary Discovery Call where we will connect around what’s happening for you and whether the work that I do is a good fit for you or not.

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