Do you tell yourself “It’s important to be available all the time” or
“It’s important to respond quickly.”
Who says? Has anyone ever said this to you?
This may be true – if you are “on-call” or there is a specific role where you need to be contacted in an emergency.
But if that’s not the case, why not tell yourself:
Everyone is ok without me unless I hear otherwise.
When you connect in with yourself, what comes up for you when you think about not responding or not being available?
Why is it a problem?
Is anyone asking you to be available evenings and weekends?
Is there something that worries you about not being available?
For me, I used to worry about approval of others, disappointment of others and it also gave me a feeling of self-importance to be needed.
It was learning how to feel uncomfortable emotions – like guilt – that I was avoiding by being constantly available and responding quickly.
I did this work with one of my clients recently as well and it led to not checking email afterhours and nothing bad happening.
This is one of the 8 skills I build with my clients to help them to stop overworking.
It’s not a time management problem, it’s learning how to feel uncomfortable problem.
If you are telling yourself “It’s important to be available all the time” or “It’s important to respond quickly.”
Ask yourself, why? If no one has said to you that this is an expectation of you, why are you setting this expectation of yourself?
If this resonates for you and you have questions, give me your yeah buts and what ifs by Booking a Consult
and I’ll help you move through them so that you can not check your email over the evening “in case there’s an emergency” or because you “want to respond quickly” and reduce your work hours.
Melissa E Anders 