We all have a part of us that’s resistance to change.
Even when we want it.
It’s the part of us that says – no, I don’t want to/I can’t, later.
Usually in the face of something new or unfamiliar or uncertain.
It’s human.
Coaching taught me how to create an awareness of my resistance and choose how to be in relationship with it.
The key to choosing is becoming AWARE of it as resistance.
When I am aware of the part of me that says no, I don’t want to, later.
I can accept it.
I can plan for it.
I can work with it.
I can take action that’s not in reaction to it, but in connection with what I TRULY want.
Coaching taught me that resistance to change is normal.
There’s nothing wrong with you because a part of you doesn’t want to change.
It’s not that you aren’t good at change.
You are like every other human who has a brain that is using thoughts to protect you from the uncertainty of something new.
Resistance is biology.
It stops us from crossing the street when we aren’t sure we have time to safely cross.
We like this part of our brains.
It’s the part of our brain that says no automatically to something uncertain or new.
It makes sense that we have this part of us that has helped us to survive.
And we can choose the relationship we have with it.
This is a process of redirecting your brain and you can learn how to do this.
For me, it’s been a process of
1) Listening to it
2) Finding out what it needs,
3) Giving it what it needs, if I can / want to
4) Listening to and acting from the part of me that wants change
When you do this work, two cool things happen.
1) When the part of me that wants to change is taking action, it’s impossible for my life not to change.
2) The resistance gets quieter.
Well, caveat on #2 – it’s quieter until, I decide to stretch to a bigger goal, and then it jumps up again saying: no, I don’t want to, later.
Coaching taught me that, when I am growing and I have a human brain, the resistance never goes away but it does get easier because of the awareness I have and because I know how to be in relationship with it.
So, try listening to the part of you that wants to do the same thing (overwork) and not the new thing (take time off).
Maybe it says:
But I have to work
I can’t take time off
I’ll take time off later.
Don’t be lazy.
When you decide you don’t want to overwork, and you listen to your resistance and end up working, your brain thinks it’s helping you to survive the uncertainty of not working.
But you’re onto yourself, you know overworking is not serving you.
All you have to do is learn how to listen to the part of you that want’s to change a little bit more than you listen to the part of you that wants to stay the same.
That’s it.
If you want to stop overworking, email me at support@melissaeanders.com and let’s have a consult. We can create awareness around your resistance together.
Melissa E Anders 