We all have strengths inside of us that are the true gem of who we are. Some of us have a knack for polishing our gem and letting it shine. Some of us have hidden them for one reason or another. Some of us are so disconnected from our gem, that we have trouble finding it at all.
My gem was glimmering in grade 6 when I started to notice that my friends would come to me and just talk to me about something that was bothering them. “What should I do Melissa?” they would say. Sometimes I had an opinion about what they should do, and sometimes I didn’t. Sometimes just listening seemed to be enough.
Noticing this recurring role I had on the playground, led me to believe that maybe I should be a psychologist.
For some, this noticing leads to finding ways to polish a gem, let it gleam, and beautifully follow your dream at an early age. For others, like me, a path may be influenced by others or by practicalities or rational thinking that can be introduced in a variety of ways. I began to adopt thoughts like: be careful; you don’t want to listen to other people’s problems all day and you are probably too sensitive to handle the emotions of others. It might become a burden for you. Don’t you think it will be too hard on you to be a psychologist?
The gap had closed so tightly around the light shining from my gem that by grade 8 graduation I remember distinctly writing in my yearbook that I wanted to be an advertiser (I don’t even think I knew what this meant but just that it was an acceptable occupation that I would not be questioned). Even then, I knew it was a lie within my heart.
The good news is your gem is always there and no matter what stage you are at in sharing it, it does not leave you. It is always finding ways to emerge and show you the light that it is capable of emitting.
When it came time to choose my educational path the idea of psychology had long left me. I chose science with the thought that it would be easier to get a job with a Science degree than with an English degree (even though I have also always loved to write – even though I had trouble sharing my writing).
I did my undergraduate degree in Molecular Biology and Genetics and I completed my Masters of Science and started my PhD. During this time, I was always searching for something else and one day looking on a job posting site I found it. It was a communications job for a research institute and I knew it was my next step. I would be able to use my science degree and get more experience writing. I told my supervisor that I was going to pursue a career in communicating science and that even if I didn’t get this job I was going to quit my PhD and keep trying to follow this thread of writing about science. I got the job and learned everything I could about writing and design while promoting the research of world renowned scientists. I also worked as the hub for large research grant proposals with multiple scientists and began working with one of Canada’s leading scientists. After creating several large grants together, he offered me a job to manage a research program and I have been working with him for more than 12 years now.
In my position as program manager we started having weekly meetings which we began to joke were like therapy sessions as my boss would download what was going on for him and I would listen.
The dust was being brushed off of my gem.
A friend mentioned that it sound like the work I was doing with my boss sounded like coaching. I dived into learning more about coaching and how it worked. I continually devoured self help books and found my love of understanding human nature. In 2016, I stepped further into my true self and asked to be trained as a coach through the Strategic Intervention (Madanes-Robbins) coaching platform and soon I began to expand my coaching practise to others.
Isn’t it interesting how your gem keeps showing up for you in different places?
With all of these experiences in place, I began coaching those around me and offering to help them move through specific problems more easily. I created a website, got some business cards, and started introducing myself as a coach.
Soon after starting this process, I had an appointment with an ultrasound technician who began to open up to me about the intimate details of several heavy situations in her life.
I was asked to leave the room to change back into my street clothes and then come back for my next set of images. When I returned she said, “I am not sure what just happened here or why I just dumped my whole life story onto you – I don’t usually do that – it’s probably not that professional … sorry about that…”
My mind would usually stir up thoughts like: It doesn’t mean anything that she feels comfortable talking to you. It just happens. It’s no big deal.
But this time, something was different, I said, “It’s ok. You are welcome. I am a coach. This is who I am and what I was meant to do. If you would ever like to talk more and understand what this is experience is offering you, here’s my card.”
My gem was shining brightly. I had stepped into my true self. The self that has been with me all this time. The gem just waiting to be seen and polished.
Let me ask you these important questions:
- Does thinking about your next writing project fill you with stress and anxiety?
- Do you find yourself confused about where to start or how to finish?
- Do you find it hard to make time for writing when there’s no deadline?
- Does sharing your writing scare you so much that you find it hard to even start?
- Do you find all of your ideas or unfinished writing projects overwhelming?
- When you finally sit down to write, do you have feelings of resistance, distraction or a desire to do something else?
If yes, then my “Write with Confidence” programs may be a match for you.
Let me share with you some of the unique qualities of my private coaching clients:
- They are ready to commit to doing the inner work that’s required for sustainable change and to receive powerful coaching, accountability and support.
- They are open and curious about the process of coaching and about understanding more about themselves so that they may purposefully create more clarity, change and meaning in their lives.
- They want to feel more certainty and confidence about their decisions and directions, create more joy and ease when sharing their ideas with colleagues and create more time to define and focus on what is most meaningful for them.
- They also see how changing their relationship with writing and sharing their ideas will lead to creating more time to contribute their unique gifts and are curious about mapping what they learn in their experience with writing to other areas of their lives such as their relationships with time, others, and themselves.
If this is you, I invite you to email me for a complimentary discovery call at support@melissaEanders.com.
I love to work with men and women who are struggling with their writing projects because as they improve their relationship with writing and learn to move through avoidance and resistance they begin to see what is possible for themselves.
It gives me shivers when I see my client’s dedication to making writing a joyous process for themselves lead to realizing that becoming a writer means that they have something important to share.
I love to see my clients understand what they want to express, let go of what’s not needed while writing and find ways to connect with and serve their community through writing.
Gosh, just writing about this makes me realize how much I truly love all my clients and the work we do together. It feels amazing!
I love to meet them where they are and watch them use writing as a platform for personal growth as they connect with who they truly are and what their contributions are in the world. What a gift it is to work together.
Are you curious to see whether the work we do together in your Discovery Call will begin to create results for you?
Let’s start the process. Email me at support@melissaEanders.com to schedule your complimentary Discovery Call today.
I can’t wait to see what’s possible for you!