Yesterday morning I invested in a year long training program for myself and my business.
When we make a decision to invest in ourselves all sorts of questions come up. I remembered when I was considering coaching for the first time, I was very scared about not having enough time to devote to the coaching process and I wasn’t exactly sure where the money would come from to pay for it. Although, I didn’t know it would work out at the time, I shifted my morning writing practise to include time for coaching work and now it has naturally become a part of my routine. I also saw that by adjusting my spending away from coffee, wine and eating out and towards support my personal coaching was possible.
This time, as I was considering the training program and making the decision, it seems that the questions that came up had not changed so much; however, how I see the process has changed dramatically.
Time and money came up again. The training requires two 3-day commitments of in person training out of town, weekly calls and homework assignments. All sorts of questions around connecting with my partner and asking for time away from our family and also just the overwhelm that comes up when I see more “to dos” on the list. How will I possibly find the time to do this?
Through all of my growth through examining my thoughts and feelings, I realized: these are just thoughts. I have evidence that I can create time for what I want. I also have evidence that my partner will support me with creating what I want for myself and my business. It means being willing to give up some things and because what I want to create is so clear and connected for me, these “things” became easy to let go.
Then, money came up next. Where am I going to find the money for this? How am I going to allow myself to spend money on this when I could be spending it on or saving it for other aspects in my life and family. I had also just spent money on the training that I just received and on my stay out of town, which made me hesitant to spend more in the same place. I had thoughts like, maybe I should wait and see how this goes (even though the training was amazing). Maybe it’s not the right time.
When I looked at the facts, I realized that I do need support to create my business and this training has been very supportive. I have also been taking a deeper look at my beliefs around money and realizing that it is challenging for me to receive. By spending money on this training, I would be demonstrating to myself that I believe that receiving support for my growth is worthy and valuable. I also realized that I have created money in my business and I have been making choices to save money to direct my investments more wisely and that I am a very wise investment.
This time, I did something else differently. I provided a space for myself to check in with my inner guidance to see if it felt right and, perhaps most significantly, I also trusted my inner guidance when it said: yes.
The next morning, I signed up.
For the briefest moment, I felt “buyers remorse”. The thoughts that came up were: Did I do the right thing? Was I sure that my partner would be ok with this? How can I know for sure that this is going to be a good move for me? Can I really trust these people? Are they just here to get my money?
This time though, I saw these as thoughts too. Thoughts that were trying to make me scared; trying to keep me the same; trying to scramble me, throw me into confusion and to gain back control. This time, I could separate myself from them. I could allow them without becoming them.
And, from there, I smiled. From the boundless security of knowing what’s in my heart, I smiled. I had a true knowing that my inner guidance that was telling me: honey, you know, you know that this is right for you. And, there I landed, my heart cushioning me from this thought fall.
If you know in your heart that you want to change your relationship with writing, and you aren’t sure what your next step is please connect with me by email at email@example.com to schedule your complimentary Discovery Call. This is a powerful experience where we will connect around what’s happening for you, whether the work that I do is a good fit for you or not and whether it makes sense to take a next step together.